New Mom Reveals What It Was Like Having Her MIL Carry Her Baby
Although 29-year-old Kayla Jones always knew that she wanted to be a mother, she also knew that it most likely wouldn’t be possible for her. At just 17 years old, Kayla had a partial hysterectomy after doctors found a tumor in her uterus. Fortunately, the tumor turned out to be benign and her ovaries didn’t have to be removed. Years later, when Kayla married her husband, Cody, they knew the only way to have a biological child together would be to use a gestational surrogate — but they didn’t expect it to be Cody’s mom.
According to Kayla, her MIL, Patty Resecker, first joked about being their surrogate after their 2012 wedding.
When the couple from Arkansas started exploring options more seriously to grow their family, they decided to take Patty, 50, up on it. “People will easily say they will be a surrogate, until it comes time,” Kayla tells CafeMom. “That’s when my mother-in-law said she was serious about wanting to carry for us.”
Needless to say, they don’t have the typical mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship.
“She has always been so caring and so supportive of my husband and I,” Kayla says. “She made me feel part of the family from the start of our relationship.”
Still, that doesn’t mean she wasn’t nervous venturing into this unusual situation with Patty.
After doctors cleared Patty as a healthy surrogate, Kayla and Cody started the IVF process. Their first embryo was transferred in March 2017 but didn’t take. After a second attempt two months later, they found out that Patty was pregnant with their little boy. “I did have fears about going through with my mother-in-law, mainly because of her age,” she says. “I knew if something happened to her during the process it would heartbreaking.”
But the one thing Kayla never worried about was her MIL crossing any lines.
“I never had fears that she would overstep ‘boundaries’ or feel like she wanted to keep [the baby],” she says. “I also do not fear that she will try raising him as a mother. She has always said she is the grandmother.”
Kayla and Cody privately found out that Patty was pregnant and surprised her with the news.
The couple shared the exciting moment on their own after Patty left a urine sample on her front porch before heading to work. Kayla and Cody tested it together at home and later showed up to Patty’s office with the positive test after savoring the moment alone. “I cannot describe the feeling of seeing two pink lines,” Kayla shared with Love What Matters. “I just knew it was not going to work.”
In December, Patty gave birth to Kayla and Cody’s first child.
This was Patty’s fourth pregnancy and her second grandchild. The mom of three welcomed Kross Allen via C-section on December 30, 2017, with Kross’s parents eagerly waiting to meet him. “The delivery was breathtaking,” Kayla says. “I was able to be in the room and see it all. Patty was pretty sleepy from the meds, so she did not remember much of it.”
Although Kayla admits that surrogacy wasn’t always easy, it was worth it for their “sweet miracle.”
“I’ve recently had the privilege of doing one of the most rewarding things: to carry my own grandchild for my son and daughter-in-law,” Patty told Love What Matters. “This is something that has blessed not only me and my family, but also Kayla’s family. A child is a lifetime commitment and I knew there weren’t two more deserving people than them. To see them with Kross and see the parents they’re already becoming thrills my soul.”
Kayla is forever indebted to her mother-in-law for giving her this priceless gift: Kross.
“Words cannot describe how thankful we are. I never thought I would have children, so this has truly been such a blessing,” she tells CafeMom. “God found us a way to Kross.”